


the queen's son

by Fencer13



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Child Death, Dysfunctional Relationships, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Pre-Canon, Relationship Study, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26508295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fencer13/pseuds/Fencer13
Summary: “I lost my first boy, a little black-haired beauty. He was a fighter too - tried to beat the fever that took him. It was years ago. Robert was crazed, beat his hands bloody on the wall, all the things men do to show you how much they care. The boy looked just like him. Such a little thing. A bird without feathers.”-	Cersei Lannister to Catelyn Starkthe birth, brief life and the death of the firstborn son of Cersei Lannister and Robert Baratheon, and the accompanying changes and doom of their relationship.
Relationships: Robert Baratheon & Cersei Lannister, Robert Baratheon/Cersei Lannister
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	the queen's son

**Author's Note:**

> When I first watched the scene in the series where Cersei tells Catelyn about her first son, I was intrigued (I confess I was intrigued by the relationship between Cersei and Robert in general, which the series portrayed much more interestingly and fleshed out than in the books, and most of the scenes in which they interact are some of my favorites of the first season).
> 
> I thought, if Cersei carried a son by Robert to term, how did she feel about it? What changed to make her choose to miscarry all of his future children, and only have the ones by Jaime?  
> And as we all know that Cersei would do anything for her children, how was she impacted by his death?

cersei’s first reaction to her pregnancy is revulsion. the mere thought of carrying robert’s seed, of placing a younger version of him into the world… what she feels is revulsion, and that is all.

(on her wedding day, she thought she might be happy, fool that she was, not knowing that robert would never, ever love her. not knowing that he would dishonor her ere the day was over, calling out another’s name.)

months pass, and cersei is going to make sure that her son – for she is carrying robert’s heir, she’s certain of it – will be a good man, a good king. she will make sure he sees his father’s faults, for all he has lessened his drinking and whoring. she despises her husband, for all that he stares at her rounded stomach almost with wonderment in his gaze. maybe she will despise his son, as well.

(at times, he almost looks happy. she wishes he would forget lyanna stark, that northern whore, and maybe she could learn to- not to love him, never that, but maybe to- to- she doesn’t know. she’s stuck with him, though, and sometimes she’s weak enough to be willing to forgive, if only he gave her a reason.)

childbirth is not what she imagined it to be. she is attended by half a dozen midwives, and maybe that is why she does not truly recall the pain, because they lessened it – midwives robert provided, the least he could do. robert himself does not come in, and she is used to the cold feeling in her chest. but what she will always remember is the way her heart sings at the sound of her firstborn’s wail.

robert storms in at once. he looks down on his son and names him steffon.

(robert loves his son. maybe he can grow to love her.)

briefly, ever so briefly, they are happy. robert laughs his booming laugh, holds her son as often as she lets him. smiles at her without a shadow in his eyes, smiles at her as if the smile truly is meant for her.

(she allows herself to smile back.)

steffon grows sick. it is not even winter.

at first, robert is in the nursery with her and steffon almost every day. but he does not meet her eyes, or talk to her, and as the weeks fly by without a sign of recovery, he melts away like a shadow.

(in her heart, she starts to resent him again. it surprises her – she hadn’t realized that for a time, she had stopped.)

steffon looks just like her husband. his eyes have turned blue just a few days ago, and his hair is growing in black. but cersei can count his ribs at a glance, and she tries so desperately to hope.

(why must her son look like robert when it is she who keeps vigil by his side? when it is she who prays to the gods night and day, and curses their deaf ears?)

it is perhaps an hour past midnight, and cersei is tired. she dare not sleep, dare not pause her silent vigil, and that is when she hears it echoing through the walls: a quiet, rhythmic moaning from the king’s chambers.

(and her heart turns to ice.)

grand maester pycelle finally shakes his head and leaves milk of the poppy standing by her son’s bed.

she weeps silently.

(her son is a fighter, a warrior. he is braver than robert ever was. he is her hope made flesh, and he is hers in a way that no one will ever understand.)

(he cannot help the weakness in his blood. he has fought so hard to overcome it, so very very hard.)

robert leaves the castle that very night. to go hunting, her ladies-in-waiting tell her.

(she despised him before already. now she scorns his weakness. it makes sense that his seed, too, carries weakness in it, and it is so very easy to blame robert.)

she administers the milk of poppy herself. her son is barely strong enough to swallow, but she has no more tears left to weep.

(in death, her son looks even smaller, even frailer. a bird without feathers, an angel without wings.)

robert returns a day later, his knuckles bruised and bloody. she insists that steffon be buried in casterly rock.

(it is the only thing she says to him.)

in this, at least, robert doesn’t fight her. she thinks that maybe she can see guilt in the shadows around his red eyes.

a day later, she hears the moans, rhythmic if not melodic, coming from his rooms. she does not care. robert will never have a son by her again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it! Comments always manage to brighten up my day :)


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